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Trust Broken, Forgiveness Given

Time heals all wounds

TJ Tijerina

TJ Tijerina

Cheyenne Whisenant, Commentator

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People wonder why I don’t trust anyone. When something bad happens and the people who are supposed to protect you don’t do that, you lose that trust.

You see I was 15 years old when my boyfriend, my ex-boyfriend, my first love, raped me in a bathroom at school. I was lucky, I didn’t walk away with bruises or major damage except to my heart, soul, and mind.

One of the assistant principles had walked in while I was trying to leave, after the damage had already been done. Not wanting to get into trouble the boy made me hide. So there I was standing on the toilet, full of shock and horror at the events that had happened, but I stayed silent. The AP had seen my stuff that had been thrown on the floor and knew something was wrong. So we were caught.

After writing a first statement that said nothing happened, ( I wrote this because the boy was sitting next to me threatening me not to say anything) I cried and told another principle what had happened. He said there was nothing he could do, because he wasn’t the one who caught me  wasn’t handling the ¨case”. So when I told the first AP that I had been raped, he said ¨I don’t believe you. Because then why would you hide?¨ Even my own parents, my father and my stepmother, didn’t believe me after telling them, granted it was 2 years later, but still why wouldn’t you believe your own daughter? I didn’t matter how many times I begged and pleaded with them, nothing happened; he still walks free on this planet with no consequences.

Forgiveness is something I believe all people deserve, even if they have ruined someones life. Learning to forgive is the hardest thing in the world, its harder than actually saying those 3 words. ¨I forgive you.¨ To that person that hurt you, they don’t even care. To forgive, I gave it time. Time heals all wounds, so while I sat crying, screaming, blaming myself, I also was healing because I was realizing that nothing will change that day, and there was nothing I could really do 2 years later.

¨Bad things happen, and there is nothing you can do about it so why worry?” my favorite line from Lion King.

Forgiveness doesn’t appear overnight. I had to give it 2 whole years and even though I still very much hate this person for what he did to me, I’ve learned that I forgive him. I am no longer mad at him or myself for what happened but I did realize it wasn’t my fault. I realized that it wasn’t my fault at all, and that me being raped doesn’t define me, so I just let time heal me and in the end, after everything he had done to me, I forgave him. I also forgave the principle for not believing me. Because their actions don’t define me, I make myself who I want to be.

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